What I Remember When I Want to Give Up
Reflections on my January as far as writing and Medium are concerned
It’s tempting to just think about climbing in here and never coming down.
I can honestly say that this has been the roughest month I’ve had as far as writing is concerned since last August. I’ve written over 75 Medium articles since then along with over 30 blog posts on my personal blog.
January has been a slump. I’m 6 Medium articles behind on my yearly goal so far. I feel pulled in a hundred different directions. Even if I do have ideas and creative energy, I feel like I have no follow through. I just want to get back to the writing without the expectations. Either that or take a long nap and forget about the dream.
This week I realized how little I’ve made on Medium in the past 6 months. A lot of this I’m willing to take ownership of. I haven’t pitched to a lot of publications. I haven’t started my own publication. I haven’t been as consistent in number and in quality as I want to be. Maybe I could have promoted more.
However, I still thought about quitting this week. Just forgetting about everything and holing up in my bed for a solid week. I thought about it quite a good bit. Maybe starting again in February.
I don’t want a pity party. I’m writing because I’m sure that at some point in everyone’s journey they feel the desire to quit. However, what fuels us to keep going?
My guess is that it’s passion. I could be doing a lot of things during the time I spend writing (and I’m sure you could too). However, nothing makes me feel quite like I feel when I’m writing. Nothing makes me feel as alive, as involved or as fueled.
Writing is a marathon and it’s helpful to approach it with a marathon mindset. This is not a sprint for any of us. It’s time to stop comparing my beginning with someone else’s middle or someone who is a few steps ahead of me.
It’s time to realize that this really is a journey. There will be valleys and mountaintops. There will be bad days where all that I want to do is lay and bed and get on with something else. There will be growing pains.
As far as the overwhelm, I’m going to start enforcing a new system, where I choose only 5 at the maximum things to do each day and actually get them done early.
Preservation begins with conserving energy and training like a marathon and not a sprint. It’s going to mean learning every day but also not setting unachievable goals or throwing a 20 item to do list at yourself if 5 or more of those things are larger tasks.
So, I’m not going to give up. I’m going to keep going. Struggle through the hard days, keep my nose to the grindstone and work hard for the best.
I guess what I remind myself of when I want to quit is the fact that I know a few years from now I’ll regret it if I don’t chase the writing dream down to the bone. I remind myself that this is part of the process.
