In the Pirates Dougout
In my mind’s eye-
I’m 12. My version of celebrity crush is Jason Kendall-
the Pirates everyday catcher. The year is 1998.
I imagine he hears the banshee like screams that escape
my young lungs and throat when he steps up to bat.
I dream of sneaking into that dougout and meeting my hero.
In the midst of storms, it’s there I imagine hiding:
safe in my youth XL Pirates hoodie and whispering encouragement
between innings to battle weary teammates
I’m 32. Using my boyfriend’s season pass to get
behind the scenes. When asked if I want to see
the dougout- I smile at the younger girl.
Sit between my friend and the ticket holder as we
snap selfies. He asks Lisa to snap a photo of us-
kisses me hard, a Valentine’s Day shot.
She tells him not to do the 48 hour breakup.
He tells her he believes in me as much as he does
in black and gold- like I believed in the 1998 team.