In the Pirates Dougout

Photo by Adrian Bonifacio on Unsplash

In my mind’s eye-

I’m 12. My version of celebrity crush is Jason Kendall-

the Pirates everyday catcher. The year is 1998.

I imagine he hears the banshee like screams that escape

my young lungs and throat when he steps up to bat.

I dream of sneaking into that dougout and meeting my hero.

In the midst of storms, it’s there I imagine hiding:

safe in my youth XL Pirates hoodie and whispering encouragement

between innings to battle weary teammates

In reality-

I’m 32. Using my boyfriend’s season pass to get

behind the scenes. When asked if I want to see

the dougout- I smile at the younger girl.

Sit between my friend and the ticket holder as we

snap selfies. He asks Lisa to snap a photo of us-

kisses me hard, a Valentine’s Day shot.

She tells him not to do the 48 hour breakup.

He tells her he believes in me as much as he does

in black and gold- like I believed in the 1998 team.

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