8 Practices that Lead to Better Mental Health
These have helped me to lessen anxiety and helped to identify what is really worth the energy
A year ago, I was constantly anxious and overthinking things.
I got into a car accident and the fear was so bad of having another one that I didn’t let myself drive if I didn’t have to and I practiced over-cautious behaviors.
This event was combined with planning a wedding, starting a new job and comparison with others.
It created a cocktail of stress, anxiety, and fear. I would go from thinking that I was going to get fired one moment to apologizing that I wasn’t further along in my career the next to whichever family member was listening.
I came to a moment where I realized I had to work out processes that would help me to stress less and keep a host of other problems: depression, people-pleasing, and comparison at bay.
These are 8 of the practices that I’ve been doing over the past year that have really changed my life personally. I now sleep better at night, focus better and create time for what really matters.
Spend Your Fuck Bucks Wisely
I came across this idea recently on Sarah Knight’s podcast, “No F*cks Given”. She defines fuck bucks as your time, energy, and money. She stresses the idea of mentally decluttering by writing down everything you’re expected to care about and crossing off what you actually don’t care about.
It can take a while to filter through what you actually want to spend your fuck bucks on. It’s the act of asking what really is worth your time, energy, and money, again and again.
It’s a process that enables you to choose things that light you up and energize you with few extra demands (except work). It also allows you to see what can be avoided or canceled out because it’s not adding value.
Practice deep breathing and meditation
Meditation allows you to stop and clear your thoughts, energy and relax. It also teaches you a valuable process for when you feel stressed. Deep breathing helps to calm, refresh, and even has been able to help with things like cravings.
Define Your Own Version of Success
Keeping in line with what matters to you, what would you consider successful?
Is it enough to be in a committed relationship where you enjoy the other person or do you crave a fancy dinner every other night with flowers?
Does success mean driving fancy cars, having the best clothes, and regular vacations? There is nothing wrong with any of these things. Or does success mean being able to feed yourself from your passion and driving a slightly used un-fancy SUV?
Do things have the same meaning if they cost 500 or 15? For example, my wedding ring is from Amazon and it cost $15. Someday when I’m out of debt and we have it in the budget, it might get upgraded. I’m not too concerned about it. It’s the commitment that matters, not the size or cost of the ring.
Take time to define your version of success and write it out. Aim for what you define as success, not what anyone else considers it to be.
Learn the art of saying No
Saying no might seem like the people pleaser’s kryptonite. It’s what we avoid doing to maintain friendships and please others, to keep our reputation. However, it’s also one of the things that creates the most peace.
Is FOMO really FOMO if we don’t care about what’s going on? Is this something that you want to spend your time, money, or energy on? There are a lot of ways to say no and still be polite.
People that really love and care for us are okay with us saying no. They might miss us, but they will also accept that sometimes we just can’t or don’t want to. That we’re too tired and stressed to add something else to the plate.
For each invitation, think about if it really matters to you. Would there be dire personal consequences if you didn’t do the thing? Would you personally be upset if you missed it? If the answer is no, skip and move on.
Play the What-If Game
When facing something that is stressing you or that you’re anxious about, play the what-if game. What is the worst that can happen in that scenario?
Then back it up by asking why 3 times. Get to the root of why it stresses you and the worst that can happen.
Most of the things we worry about don’t really matter. This is also a really great way to see what we actually do care about and what matters to us.
I’m not sure where I first heard this idea but it’s been one of the most important practices I’ve done for eliminating stress and worry.
Set minimum goals and keep the overall number down
So many times, before others can load down our plate, we pack it ourselves. We have a lot of ambitious goals. We all have a lot of things that we want to accomplish. In the end, it’s going to tear us in 10–15 different directions, before anyone else has a say in the matter.
Instead, choose a max of five things you want to accomplish at a time. These can be anything from any area of life. By limiting the number of goals, you eliminate a lot of other options, but you have a lot more focus for the things that you decide matter.
Find a way to give back
Giving back allows us to get out of our own heads for a while. Whether giving back means helping someone move, encouraging someone with a conversation or a card, or donating a few hours for community service.
It reminds us that there is more than just us. It’s also a way that we can stop thinking about our problems to focus on someone else. Sometimes, the answer to our problems is found while helping someone.
Reflection- do it in the morning and at night
In his book, The Bullet Journal Method, Ryder Carroll suggests setting up reflection for two times during the day- once in the morning to plan your goals and once at night to review your day. He also suggests using these as a digital bookend system. You can’t look at your phone after writing your reflection or until you’re done with your morning reflection.
Both of these processes are important for mental health. Knowing what you are working on for the day and limiting it to a few key elements.
You can’t do fifty things well during the day. It’s hard to even do five. Choose between 1–3, with time you will find your happy spot. Write these down and get them done first.
It’s just as important to reflect on your day: what wins and successes did you have? What could have gone better? Write these out and take the time to process them.
Final Thoughts
These are all practices that have helped me in my journey to better mental health. However, they are not meant to all be implemented at once.
In fact, it’s often best to start with one and stick to it until you feel that you’ve accomplished the benefits of each one. It’s always possible to add from there.
Each of these practices is empowering and helps to ease the stress.
