2020: 12 Guiding Principles for Success in the New Year
The 12 Principles I’m Diving Into During the Happiness Project
While setting up my Happiness Project year, I’ve been thinking about my personal values. I’ve been contemplating what principles will guide my actions, thoughts and sense of being in the New Year.
Writing a list of guiding principles entails sitting down and thinking about what is really important to you. It is a chance to examine your current values and who you want to be in the new year. It’s a chance to decide what you really want during the project.
While my guiding principles may not be the same as yours, this is a vital step of the process when beginning any new yearly project.
Be Rachella
There is no one else who was created to be you. You have your own set of desires, qualities and characteristics. Living in someone else’s shadow is exhausting work. Questioning what someone else would do and living by those standards is not being true to yourself.
This year, I plan to be dedicated to being who I really am. To feel what I really feel, say what I really mean and act in an unedited way
Experiment
This one is more in line with my creativity and writing.
While I enjoy writing, I feel like it’s easy to write myself into a rut.
I did this in this past year when I decided to write about nothing except for the focus of my blog.
I lost my poet’s voice- which was the most well-honed voice that I had. I actually forgot for a little bit how to write poetry.
This year, I want to be more open to writing in different formats, focusing on different subjects, and trying different types of writing.
While I will continue to offer content on emotional wellness and poetry here on Medium, I want to try different things. I want to write more personal essays, maybe write a few formatted poems, and occasionally try a different topic.
I want to write outside the box. Experimenting kills boredom and shows us as artists what does and does not work. In the quest to be a well rounded writer, I feel that the need to experiment and test my limits is in order.
Practice Gratitude
Gratitude affects every area of life. It makes us more compassionate, more empathetic, more giving and more positive. It greatly increases happiness while seeking for a way to live in a way worthy of the blessings that are given to you. It changes focus and makes the heart more content.
I recently completed a 21 day challenge to post gratitude on social media. The lessons I learned from that challenge can be found here. Since that challenge has ended, I’ve gone back in part to how I felt before the challenge. This shows me how vital ongoing gratitude is for growth and contentment.
During 2020, I’ll be doing an extended challenge where I write gratitude lists daily. I am aiming for 1,000 items by the end of the year.
Do the Things that Scare Me
There are dreams in my heart that I’ve denied because I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of disappointment and scared of upsetting the gender norms.
However, I would rather do something that scares me than have future regrets about it.
This will be a year where instead of letting fear win, I start to work on those dreams.
Drop the expectations
Nothing hurts more than unfulfilled expectations.
However, what if we refused to put expectations on situations, on others and on ourselves?
What would happen if we accepted each situation, each person or ourselves exactly as we are?
I’m advocating for looking for the best in the situation. I’m not advocating that we can never be upset when someone fails us. We are humans with complex emotions after all.
However, what I am fully in support of is not having unreasonable expectations and understanding why sometimes we or others fall through.
An example, I had a good friend move away in 2018 because he got promoted at work. He was going to a higher level in his work and ministry. He would be in charge of thousands of people and at least hundreds of churches.
I had an unreasonable expectation that we’d keep in touch like nothing had happened. While it wasn’t unreasonable to expect to touch base every so often, I half expected to still keep the closeness. I was devastated when that didn’t happen.
If I had expected something more reasonable,it would have dulled the pain. I’m still hurt that he is no longer a part of my life. However, it was the expectations I placed on him that caused the most pain.
I’m going to be working on reducing those expectations in the new decade.
Finally, I believe that it is vital to have a vision for our lives. Goals are the stepping stones to that vision. However, when we take on more than what life allows us to handle, we set unreasonable expectations.
One of my goals for 2020 is to make my first thousand dollars writing. It’s a huge goal and commitment. I know that walking into it. I expect myself to work hard, keep my nose to the grindstone and work. However, making the first thousand is a goal that I’m not going to beat on myself if it doesn’t happen. If by the end of 2020 I’m haven’t hit that point but I gave it my best, I will not be disappointed.
Journal Daily
In addition to my gratitude journal, I plan to put pen to paper to increase my own self awareness. I plan to write a list daily (10–15 items)and include a one sentence statement. It is something that will take less than 10 minutes to do. 10 minutes is an ideal practice even for practicing self care while busy. However, sometimes being aware of our thought patterns is not only good for us, but vital.
I need to remember that before anything, writing is an act of self care. It’s an act of self discovery and processing the world around us.
I write about emotional wellness. However, sometimes I mix up the practice of writing about something and actually doing something. If you’re a chef, cooking for someone else is not the same as eating. I need to get back to practicing my own self care through writing as well as writing about self-care.
Love Wins
Love is patient, kind, and doesn’t keep score.
Keeping a grudge is hard work. It actually takes more energy from us to hold that grudge than to simply let go. We invest our time and our energy into rehashing.
This principle is to remind me that it’s easier to confront if needed, but to let it go. To embody love to both others and to myself. To overlook simple faults.
Simply put, love trumps fear, negativity, differences and arguments.
Enjoy the process
This applies to so many areas of life:
enjoying the creative process
not being in a rush to get to a set destination
taking time to enjoy where we are on the path to where we want to be
enjoying the process of becoming
Finding the joy in a process or season can be difficult, but that is what I’m challenging myself to do this year.
Do It Now
I procrastinate on a lot of things, from phone calls that I need to make to organizing that pile of papers from 2014 that still reside in the same box.
Procrastinating often causes stress. The pressure of things undone have led to many sleepless nights, financial stress, and clutter- both emotional and physical.
This is my year where I actually begin to address the things that need to be done before they become problems. Where I actually stick to a schedule. Also, if it would take 5–10 minutes or less, this is the year where it starts to be done right away.
Stay calm
This is the hardest one that I know I’ll be working on this year.
Often times we worry before we see the results. We focus on the negatives. We anticipate the worst before it has a chance to happen.
This is the year that I intend to take each thing as it comes and remembering to breathe along the way. To find and stay centered. To not let stress and all of the health problems stress causes continually occur.
Focus On What I Need
Each year, we bring hundreds of things into our homes. Some of these things we need, some just fill space and are forgotten.
Each year, we also forget what we need to fill our inner space with. What makes us feel calm, peaceful and pure joy.
This will be a year where I focus on bringing in only what adds true value.
Be Generous
Generosity comes in many forms. It comes in being someone who lifts others up and encourages them. It comes in the form of donating time, money and energy to causes we believe in. It comes in the form of giving up our time for those who have a struggle that need a hand.
This is the year to be generous without measure. To give without expecting a return.
In short, my commands are a mixture of things that I want to work on and things I want to continue doing.
What are your guiding principles for the next 12 months?
